Sunday, September 30, 2012
WHAT HAPPENS AFTER DIVORCE COURT
Brooke Mueller used to be married to Charlie Sheen. You know the drill. He got drunk. He got stoned. He started to punch Brooke Mueller in the face several times. Brook Mueller divorced him and created a messy scnandal. Brooke Muller moved out while two domestic goddesses started to move into Charlie Sheen's mansion. All I can say is that Brooke Muller is the one who is winning---Duh. It's always good to know that Brooke Mueller is a witch from the planet Mars who has tigers blood in her veins.
LET'S TALK ABOUT MILA KUNIS' SEX LIFE
Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher played fictional lovers on the television series That 70's Show. Now the two love birds are paying the role of lovers in real life. This time, the love sick duo show their appreciation for the Chicago Bears while engaged in public displays of affection. It's always nice to see that Ashton Kutcher recovered from the shock of divorce court. It also looks like both Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are starting to look like the perfect couple with their public displays of affection. Ah yes, there's nothing like true love. As for the matching shirts? It's to promote the Chicago Bears Fans of NYC.
IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL
Film actress, television actress and rock star Katherine McPhee is really good friends with television journalist and talk show host Katie Couric. It won't take long for Katherine McPhee to show up on Katie Couric's new talk show.
WHAT LACEY CHABERT SAW AS SHE WALKED DOWN THE STREET
Lacey Cabert just finished filming her scenes in the film Anything is Possible and she's about to perform as an actress in the film Saving Seymore. As she walked down the street, she saw a Dude crying openly while sitting on the curb in front of tanning salon.
LACEY CABERT: What's wrong Dude?
DUDE: My Girlfriend just dumped me. She called me a dork and a geek. She broke up with me because I suddenly started doing stupid things and uttering idiotic statements. I'll never get laid. I'll never get a girlfriend. I'm a loser who will never get laid, who will never get respect and I'll end up in a lunatic asylum ignored and spat upon. I'm so sad. I'll never be happy again.
LACEY CHABERT: Getting dumped by your girlfriend isn't the end of the world. You'll find true love again. I just know it. You must have faith in yourself.
DUDE: You think so?
LACEY CABERT: I'll date you myself if I can't find a chick to date you.
Suddenly, there was a picture of a hippopotamus flashed across the sky. The Dude jumped up and switched his street clothes for an outfit that looked like a hippopotamus. Another person dressed like a walrus raced towards the dude dressed like a hippopotamus.
WALRUS MAN: The Underground Men of Moll Land just made an alliance with the Cyborg Flounder to take over the world. Quick, we must get into the Hippomobile. There isn't a minute to spare.
DUDE: I'd love to speak to you further, but action and adventure awaits me. Not only am I loser, but I'm also a colorful action costume super-suit wearing super-hero too.
WALRUS MAN: Oh no, there's a flat tire. We can't fight crime if our automobile has a flat tire.
DUDE: Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to telephone a tow truck to repair the flat tire.
LACEY CABERT: About what I just told you? Never mind. I don't want to see you ever again.
Lacey Cabert stomped on the Dude's foot before she walked off and never looked back.
LACEY CABERT: What's wrong Dude?
DUDE: My Girlfriend just dumped me. She called me a dork and a geek. She broke up with me because I suddenly started doing stupid things and uttering idiotic statements. I'll never get laid. I'll never get a girlfriend. I'm a loser who will never get laid, who will never get respect and I'll end up in a lunatic asylum ignored and spat upon. I'm so sad. I'll never be happy again.
LACEY CHABERT: Getting dumped by your girlfriend isn't the end of the world. You'll find true love again. I just know it. You must have faith in yourself.
DUDE: You think so?
LACEY CABERT: I'll date you myself if I can't find a chick to date you.
Suddenly, there was a picture of a hippopotamus flashed across the sky. The Dude jumped up and switched his street clothes for an outfit that looked like a hippopotamus. Another person dressed like a walrus raced towards the dude dressed like a hippopotamus.
WALRUS MAN: The Underground Men of Moll Land just made an alliance with the Cyborg Flounder to take over the world. Quick, we must get into the Hippomobile. There isn't a minute to spare.
DUDE: I'd love to speak to you further, but action and adventure awaits me. Not only am I loser, but I'm also a colorful action costume super-suit wearing super-hero too.
WALRUS MAN: Oh no, there's a flat tire. We can't fight crime if our automobile has a flat tire.
DUDE: Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to telephone a tow truck to repair the flat tire.
LACEY CABERT: About what I just told you? Never mind. I don't want to see you ever again.
Lacey Cabert stomped on the Dude's foot before she walked off and never looked back.
THE ADVENTURES OF HOWARD THE DUCK AND HIS GIRLFRIEND SIDEKICK SOPHIA BUSH
Needless to say, Sophia Bush's life is in a state of transition. Her previous television series One Tree Hill ended after nine seasons. Her new television series Partners is just starting to broadcasting episodes. Yet, Sophia Bush's comic book collecting habits hasn't changed. And to help pay for her super-hero comic book collecting habits, Sophia Bush found employment as the paid girlfriend and sidekick to the Marvel Comics Colorful Action Costume Super-Suit wearing Super-Hero Howard the Duck. What can I say? Sophia Bush heard the theme song to the original classic super-hero movie Howard the Duck and was so impressed that she had to sign herself up for Howard the Duck's second tour of duty. And for their next mission Howard the Duck and his girlfriend sidekick are investigating the Golden Ducks Playing Poker oil painting found below the Old Wooden Church of the Quacker Quaker Quandon People.
HOWARD THE DUCK: This oil Painting depicting ducks playing Poker may be useless, but it still has a special place in my heart. We should risk our lives just to save this useless oil painting.
SOPHIA BUSH: Hey lover dude, duck.
HOWARD THE DUCK: That's right toots, I'm a duck.
SOPHIA BUSH: No seriously, duck.
HOWARD THE DUCK: You better believe that I was born a duck. I'm proud of it.
SOPHIA BUSH: Just shut up and listen %&$#*$^ it. Duck! Duck! Duck! Duck! For GOD sake Duck. If you value your life, duck.
HOWARD THE DUCK: I'll never know why I chose you as my girlfriend and sidekick. I told you once, I told you a thousand times. Of course I was born a duck. How can I avoid being born a duck.
A circular chainsaw appeared from thin air and sliced off Howard the Duck's head off. The oil painting depicting ducks playing poker was also chopped in half. Howard the Duck fell the floor dead in a messy splatter of duck blood.
SOPHIA BUSH: I told that &$$%^&! to duck. Now I'll be eating roasted duck in wine vinaigrette for dinner tonight. I guess Howard the Duck will never learn that I'm secretly the leader of the Quacker Quaker Quandon People.
Sophia Bush releases an evil laugh as she kicks the dead body of Howard the Duck with disrespect. Will Howard the Duck survive being decapitated? Is this the final chapter of the comic book super-hero adventures of Howard the Duck? This story will be continued with brand new complications for our fine feathered friend tomorrow.....
HOWARD THE DUCK: This oil Painting depicting ducks playing Poker may be useless, but it still has a special place in my heart. We should risk our lives just to save this useless oil painting.
SOPHIA BUSH: Hey lover dude, duck.
HOWARD THE DUCK: That's right toots, I'm a duck.
SOPHIA BUSH: No seriously, duck.
HOWARD THE DUCK: You better believe that I was born a duck. I'm proud of it.
SOPHIA BUSH: Just shut up and listen %&$#*$^ it. Duck! Duck! Duck! Duck! For GOD sake Duck. If you value your life, duck.
HOWARD THE DUCK: I'll never know why I chose you as my girlfriend and sidekick. I told you once, I told you a thousand times. Of course I was born a duck. How can I avoid being born a duck.
A circular chainsaw appeared from thin air and sliced off Howard the Duck's head off. The oil painting depicting ducks playing poker was also chopped in half. Howard the Duck fell the floor dead in a messy splatter of duck blood.
SOPHIA BUSH: I told that &$$%^&! to duck. Now I'll be eating roasted duck in wine vinaigrette for dinner tonight. I guess Howard the Duck will never learn that I'm secretly the leader of the Quacker Quaker Quandon People.
Sophia Bush releases an evil laugh as she kicks the dead body of Howard the Duck with disrespect. Will Howard the Duck survive being decapitated? Is this the final chapter of the comic book super-hero adventures of Howard the Duck? This story will be continued with brand new complications for our fine feathered friend tomorrow.....
Saturday, September 29, 2012
AND WE SWITCH TO KATHERINE MCPHEE'S SIDE OF THE STORY (AS WRITTEN BY A NAME DROPPING MINIMUM WAGE EMPLOYMENT LABORER WHO NEVER ACTUALLY MET ANY OF THE FAMOUS PEOPLE THAT HE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT. HE'S ONE OF THOSE MINIMUM WAGE LABORERS WHO'S ALWAYS SHOVING FILM SCRIPTS INTO THE FACES OF FAMOUS PEOPLE HE NEVER MET IN FUTILE ATTEMPTS TO LAND A FILM DEAL AS HE WRITE INTERNET BLOGS WITH NEEDLESSLY LONG TITLES).
Katherine McPhee was walking to the film set for the television show Smash. She was talking to the latest guy that she was going out on a date with for the past month.
KATHERIEN MCPHEE: It's so hard for me to fall in love. Nothing ever turns out right.
DUDE: I know what you mean. True love always falls apart for me too. What are your problems?
KATHERINE MCPHEE: All the dudes I go out with either turns out to be gay or they do really weird things for very weird reasons.
DUDE: That's horrible. Dudes should never do that to you.
KATHERINE MCPHEE: That's what I'm always saying. Thank Goddess I have normal people like you to balance out all the strange romance avoiding gay acting weirdos that I've been stuck with in the past.
Suddenly, there was a picture of a hippopotamus flashing across the sky. The Dude suddenly takes off his clothes to reveal a gay looking hippopotamus outfit that he has under his clothing.
KATHERINE MCPHEE: What are you doing?
DUDE: I'm afraid that I wasn't truly honest with you. You see, I'm a Colorful Action Costume Super-Suit wearing Super-Hero and my name is Hippopotamus Man. I have to end our date right now because Crack the Stoned has stolen the Magic Glove of the Last of the Infinity Men to activate the Magic Cube of Twelve Billion Years to release a Thousand Frost Snakes from the Planet Flag 55. The Planet Flag 55 is filled only with Colorful Action Costume Super-Suit Wearing Super-Heroes that's stuck in the Dimension of Dreams and threatens to enter the real world to destroy Earth unless I can convince the entire planet Flag 55 to stay in the Dimension of Dreams until we can stabilize the planet in orbit around Earth. Now if you excuse me, I might fight crime in Australia.
The Dude that she was going out with for the past month ran off while dressed like a gay Hippopotamus and hopped inside an van that looked like a giant hippopotamus. The Hippo-Mobile drove off down the street in a cloud of exhaust fumes.
KATHERINE MCPHEE: Yup, I'm suddenly a magnet for weird acting gay men dressed like weirdos. Why am I so lucky as to become a magnet for homosexuals pretending to be straight? Katherine McPhee frowned as she entered the set for Smash---A television show about the behind the scenes making of a toe tapping musical extravaganza.
KATHERIEN MCPHEE: It's so hard for me to fall in love. Nothing ever turns out right.
DUDE: I know what you mean. True love always falls apart for me too. What are your problems?
KATHERINE MCPHEE: All the dudes I go out with either turns out to be gay or they do really weird things for very weird reasons.
DUDE: That's horrible. Dudes should never do that to you.
KATHERINE MCPHEE: That's what I'm always saying. Thank Goddess I have normal people like you to balance out all the strange romance avoiding gay acting weirdos that I've been stuck with in the past.
Suddenly, there was a picture of a hippopotamus flashing across the sky. The Dude suddenly takes off his clothes to reveal a gay looking hippopotamus outfit that he has under his clothing.
KATHERINE MCPHEE: What are you doing?
DUDE: I'm afraid that I wasn't truly honest with you. You see, I'm a Colorful Action Costume Super-Suit wearing Super-Hero and my name is Hippopotamus Man. I have to end our date right now because Crack the Stoned has stolen the Magic Glove of the Last of the Infinity Men to activate the Magic Cube of Twelve Billion Years to release a Thousand Frost Snakes from the Planet Flag 55. The Planet Flag 55 is filled only with Colorful Action Costume Super-Suit Wearing Super-Heroes that's stuck in the Dimension of Dreams and threatens to enter the real world to destroy Earth unless I can convince the entire planet Flag 55 to stay in the Dimension of Dreams until we can stabilize the planet in orbit around Earth. Now if you excuse me, I might fight crime in Australia.
The Dude that she was going out with for the past month ran off while dressed like a gay Hippopotamus and hopped inside an van that looked like a giant hippopotamus. The Hippo-Mobile drove off down the street in a cloud of exhaust fumes.
KATHERINE MCPHEE: Yup, I'm suddenly a magnet for weird acting gay men dressed like weirdos. Why am I so lucky as to become a magnet for homosexuals pretending to be straight? Katherine McPhee frowned as she entered the set for Smash---A television show about the behind the scenes making of a toe tapping musical extravaganza.
