WHAT LACEY CHABERT SAW AS SHE WALKED DOWN THE STREET

Lacey Cabert just finished filming her scenes in the film Anything is Possible and she's about to perform as an actress in the film Saving Seymore.  As she walked down the street, she saw a Dude crying openly while sitting on the curb in front of tanning salon.
LACEY CABERT:  What's wrong Dude?
DUDE:  My Girlfriend just dumped me.  She called me a dork and a geek.  She broke up with me because I suddenly started doing stupid things and uttering idiotic statements.  I'll never get laid.  I'll never get a girlfriend.  I'm a loser who will never get laid, who will never get respect and I'll end up in a lunatic asylum ignored and spat upon.  I'm so sad.  I'll never be happy again.
LACEY CHABERT:  Getting dumped by your girlfriend isn't the end of the world.  You'll find true love again.  I just know it.  You must have faith in yourself.
DUDE:  You think so?
LACEY CABERT:  I'll date you myself if I can't find a chick to date you.
Suddenly, there was a picture of a hippopotamus flashed across the sky.  The Dude jumped up and switched his street clothes for an outfit that looked like a hippopotamus.  Another person dressed like a walrus raced towards the dude dressed like a hippopotamus.
WALRUS MAN:  The Underground Men of Moll Land just made an alliance with the Cyborg Flounder to take over the world.  Quick, we must get into the Hippomobile.  There isn't a minute to spare. 
DUDE:  I'd love to speak to you further, but action and adventure awaits me.  Not only am I loser, but I'm also a colorful action costume super-suit wearing super-hero too. 
WALRUS MAN:  Oh no, there's a flat tire.  We can't fight crime if our automobile has a flat tire.
DUDE:  Can I borrow your cell phone?  I need to telephone a tow truck to repair the flat tire.
LACEY CABERT:  About what I just told you?  Never mind.  I don't want to see you ever again.
Lacey Cabert stomped on the Dude's foot before she walked off and never looked back.