"OH NO, NOT AGAIN," CRIES OUT EVANGELINE LILLY AS THE AIRPLANE THAT SHE'S RIDING IN COMES CRASHING DOWN INTO FLAMES

Evangeline Lilly loves to wear makeup.  And makeup loves to be worn by Evangeline Lilly.  So there's a mutual respect involved when Evangeline Lilly was selected to be the advertisement spokeswoman for Cover Girl Cosmetics.  There were the usual complains.  You know the drill.  Oh no, you had to chose HER?  Why not choose Suzanne Somers, Tiffany Darwish and Debby Gibson while you're in the process of hiring forgotten has beens to sell makeup.  She filmed what was supposed to be the first of many commercials.  When she was done, she left the filming studio against an avalanche of paparazzi photographers and reporters desperate for a glimpse of the brand new star who has all but vanished from Hollywood after three seasons of a television show that was a blockbuster success, but made shredded lettuce of her acting career.

 

 

 

 

Evangeline Lilly was desperate to prove that she's still employed as an actress after filming three separate four hour long movies literally back to back on the opposite side of Earth in sunny sun drenched New Zealand.  All three four hour long movies in question, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and The Hobbit: There and Back Again just wrapped production.  Evangeline Lilly is flying on an airplane back to the United States of America to start the standard television interviews and the standard magazine photo spreads to promote all three Lord of the Rings related Hobbit movies. 

There was a wait in line to check in her backpack luggage.  There was a wait in line for security check.  The male airport security insisted on four separate full body pat downs and three strip searches including photos of the strip search slowly in progress.  Plus, Evangeline Lilly signed autographs to everybody working at security check.  Then Evangeline Lilly waited for the airplane to arrive.  She waited to be the last to board the airplane.  She waited to be the last to be fed.  All of the airplane pilots and all of the flight attendants (stewardess) died when the airplane crashed.  Ok, one of the flight attendants (stewardess) went psycho and joined a religious cult.  Anyway, most of the passengers survived the airplane crashed and was stranded on an uncharted island with a crazy religious cult only a few miles away.  What's a girl to do except strip down to her underwear and get a suntan at the beach.  It's obvious that Evangeline Lilly will never get the chance to promote all three separate four hour long movies  The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and The Hobbit: There and Back Again.  And liberated from the need to act like a wealthy famous celebrity, Evangeline Lilly embraced life as unemployed homeless vagrant tropical island dwelling beach combing philosopher who fights against evil religious cults living on uncharted tropical islands that look suspiciously similar to Hawaii (But is still located nearby both Australia and New Zealand which is kind of Hawaii-like in appearance).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To be continued tomorrow when Evangeline Lilly fights against tropical polar bears in her quest to find the secret underground hatch that the evil religious cult abandoned...