SCARLETT JOHANSSON VERSES THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE

Gentle Reader, have you ever seen the film the Man Who Wasn't There?  Billy Bob Thorton plays a 1949 era barber named Ed Crane.  He suspects that his wife Doris was having an affair with her boss "Big Dave" Brewster.  Big Dave Brewster was her employer at Nirdlinger's.  Ed Crane gets sucked into an Amway style scam by Creighton Tolliver.  Ed Crane gets Bg Dave Brewster involved.  And when the scam turns into a money pit, Big Dave Brewster kills Creighton Tolliver and tries to kill Ed Crane.  And despite killing Big Dave Brewster in self defense, he frames his wife Doris Crane for the crime and she ends up hanging herself.  And while punishing his wife for adultery with Big Dave Brewster, Billy Bob Thorton is having an affair with a teenage girl young enough to be his daughter named Birdy Abundas (Played by Scarlett Johansson).  He tries to get Scarlett Johansson as Birdy Abundas a recording contract because she's a talented piano player.  However, the 1949 equivalent of Simon Cowel was very cruel in turning her down.  So while she's trying to have oral sex while he's driving a car, he drove off a cliff and broke Scarlett Johansson as Birdy Abundas clavicle (That will teach her a lesson about blowing music industry contracts).  Anyway, Ed Crane is framed for the murder of Creighton Tolliver that Big Dave Brewster committed, but Ed Crane doesn't fight it because 1.  He's out of money from the previous two courtroom trials and 2.  He feels guilty about killing Big Dave Brewster in self defense and Ed Crane didn't kill Big Dave Brewster because of the adultery issue (It's ok for Ed Crane to commit adultery, but his wife Doris Crane can't do the same).  Anyway, the film ends with Ed Crane being sentenced to death and dies on the electric chair.  The end. 
Billy Bob Thorton as Ed Crane and Frances McDormand as Doris Crane before he throws away his conservative independent barber shop businessman career to drive his wife to first adultery and then to suicide so he can become a child molesting pedophile.

Anyway, here are scenes from the movie that featured Scarlett Johansson as Birdy Abundas. 

Scarlett Johansson as Birdy Abundas was playing the piano when she first met Ed Crane at the start of his self destructive and suicidal wrecking child molesting career that involved driving his same age wife to suicide and killing her adultry love interest.

In this photo, Ed Crane listens to Scarlett Johansson as Birdy Abundas' piano playing.

Bed Time for Billy Bob Thorton as Ed Crane and Scarlett Johansson as Birdy Abundas (Never mind that her character was young enough to be his daughter).

 

 

 

Scarlett Johansson as Birdy Abundas is dating a guy who's the same age that she is.  So naturally, Billy Bob Thorton as Ed Crane is driven to scaring the guy off.  That way, Billy Bob Thorton as the self destructive and suicidal driven Ed Crane can date a girl who's young enough to be his daughter as part of his child molesting downwerd mobility spiral.

A rage filled Billy Bob Thorton as Ed Crane breaks Scarlett Johansson's  clavicle by driving his car off a cliff because she failed to get a music industry recording contract.

 

Watch out Billy Bob Thorton as Ed Crane...

...You're about to drive your 1940 Dodge Coupe off a cliff and break Scarlett Johansson as Birdy Abundas' clavicle in the last minutes of freedom before his second and final arrest (His first courtroom trial ended in a mistrial, his second courtroom trial ended in acquittal and his third courtroom trial resulted in the death sentence for child porn, three counts of murder, attempted murder and financial embezzlement).

Good going Billy Bob Thorton as Ed Crane, I heard you wrecked a car.  You really botched it this time.

This is where the clavicle is located.  This is the portion of Scarlett Johansson that Billy Bob Thorton as Ed Crane broke in a car wrecking outburst of rage.  Thank GOD such a borderline lunatic assault wasn't considered by the police to be an act of murder (Or attempted murder).

The Man Who Wasn't There was the breakthrough role that turned Scarlett Johansson into a mega-popular celebrity.  Before the release of the film The Man Who Wasn't There, Scarlett Johansson's career consisted of (In chronological order) North, Just Cause, The Pilot Episode of the Client (She was a guest star), Manny & Lo (She played Amanda), If Lucy Fell, Fall (Her character was only known as the Little Girl), Home Alone 3 (Little girl girlfriend of the adult terrorizing child from heck), she played Grace MacLean in the film the Horse Whisperer (Her best buddy Kate Bosworth, Kate's horse, Scarlett and her horse got run over by a car.  Robert Redford cured Scarlett and he also cured her horse too) and she also acted in My Brother the Pig. 

Scarlett Johansson played the first and only victim of Ed Crane---A mild mannered conservative community supporting barber shop owning barber who becomes a death row inmate teenage girl clavicle breaking child molester after killing the man who may have had an adulterous affair with his wife only to have a child molesting adultery affair of his own.  Since the release of her breakthrough performance as Birdy Abundas in the film The Man Who Wasn't There, Scarlett Johansson's career consisted of blockbuster movies including (In chronological order) Ghost World, An American Rhapsody, Eight Legged Freaks, Lost in Translation, Girl With a Pearl Earring, The Perfect Score, A Love Song for Bobby Long, A Good Woman, A Square Bob Spongepants Movie, In Good Company, Match Point, The Island, Scoop, The Black Dahlia, The Prestige, the Nanny Diaries, The Other Boleyn Girl, Six episodes of the cartoon series Robot Chicken playing the role of  Dolores,  Amy,  Cheerleader, Lisa, Tooth Fairy, Sailor Moon, herself,  Della Bea Robinson and Veronica Lodge.  After her breakthrough role in The Man Who Wasn't There, Scarlett Johansson played (In chronological order) Vicky Cristina Barcelona, the femme fatale sidekick to the main villain in the Spirit, He's Just Not Into You, Playing Lexi in an uncredited role in a Ryan Reynolds hosted episode of Saturday Night Live (Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson once went steady before breaking up),  Iron Man 2 (Her first performance as Natasha Romanoff aka The Black Widow), We Bought a Zoo, The Avengers (Her second performance as Natasha Romanoff aka the Black Widow), Hitchcock, Don Jon.  Upcoming films that Scarlett Johansson has been casted for include Under the Skin, Her, Captain America:  Winter Soldier (Her third performance as Natasha Romanoff aka the Black Widow), Lucy, Chef, The Avengers 2 (Possibly her fourth performance as Natasha Romanoff aka the Black Widow).  Oh yeah, Scarlett Johansson is a rock star who recorded two rock albums.  Her first rock album entitled Anywhere I Lay My Head was released in 2008.  Her second rock album was a collaboration with Pete Yorn entitled Break Up was released in 2009.  Needless to say, Scarlett Johansson's agent has been determined to make Scarlett Johansson a really huge star and kept that way.