Monday, October 19, 2015

THE RETURN OF STAR WARS AND THE RELEASE OF IT'S SEVENTH MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you ready?  Get ready to do your happy dance.  Because the new Star Wars movie entitled Star Wars Episode VII---The Force Awakens starring Harrison Ford as Han Solo, Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker, Carrie Fisher Princess Leia, Adam Driver as Sith Lord Apprentise Kylo Ren,  John Boyega as a former Stormtrooper turned African-American Jedi Knight apprentice Finn, Oscar Issac as Poe Dameron and Daisy Ridley as Rey.  Star Wars Episode VII---The Force Awakens will be released on  December 14, 2015.  May the Force Be With You. (2015-12-14)
Wait.  Hold on a second.  Darth Vader isn't running the Empire as the Sith Lord Apprentice anymore and has been replaced by Kylo Ren?  I guess that what happens when a wife beating child flogging psycho like Anakin Skywalker aka Darth Vader behaves like a wife and child beating creep and starts thinking that he can get away with it.  Even the Sith Lords gets sick and tired of the jerk and has him replaced with a brand new wife and child beating Jedi Knight traitor Sith Lord Apprentice with a light saber sword which has THREE LIGHT SABER BLADES INSTEAD OF JUST ONE LIGHT SABER BLADE (Kylo Ren's light saber kind of looks like an upside down crucifix which means that he hates Jesus Christ too) named Kylo Ren instead.  Oh well, such things happen.  You might as well learn to live with it.
AND YES, THAT'S DEATH STAR #3 THAT YOU SEE IN THE BACKGROUND!!!!!!
More posters to promote Star Wars Episode VII---The Force Awakens.
Harrison Ford as Han Solo
 Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia Organa
 John Boyega as Finn
 Daisy Ridley as Rey
 Adam Driver as Sith Lord Apprentice Kylo Ren
Entertainment Weekly offers sneak preview photos of Star Wars Episode VII---The Force Awakens.
 



Daisy Ridley Rey rescues BB-8 from Metal Scrap Scavengers looking for a quick buck (Robots without owners are one step away from death by scrap metal recycling).
 John Boyega as Finn---A former Stormtrooper turned Jedi Knight runs away from the damaged Tie Fighter that he used to pilot before it was shot down by his future co-workers at the resistance
 Daisy Ridley as Rey and John Boyega as Finn run away from Stormtroopers that Finn used to be a loyal member of.
Director J.J. Abrams and Daisy Ridley as Rey
Daisy Ridley as Rey
 John Boyega as Finn and Oscar Issac as Poe Dameron
John Boyega as Finn,  Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca and Harrison Ford as Han Solo
 Harrison Ford as Han Solo
 It's a What Do You Call That Thing carrying around a doohickey for whatever reason is known only to those living in the Star Wars universe.
 Adam Driver as Sith Lord Apprentise Kylo Ren

 
 Domhnall Gleeson as General Hux as the commanding military officer of the Galactic Empire
 Gwendoline Christie as the Empire supporting madwoman Captain Phasma 
Oscar Issac as Poe Dameron
 R2-D2 and C-3PO are the only Star Wars characters to appear in all seven Star Wars movies (Ok, they never appeared in the Ewoks---Caravans of Courage nor did they appear in the Ewoks---The Battle For Endor, but did anybody actually watch those live action made for television films?) because robots get to enjoy quasi-immortality (As long as there are spare parts and robot repair shots available).
Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca and Harrison Ford as Han Solo
Scenes from the latest Star Wars Episode VII---The Force Awakens trailer.
Daisy Ridley as Rey is alone as she investigates the ruins of an Empire battleship that crashed from outer space onto the planet Jakku.






 Trillions of Finn clones listen to a speech being made by the evil General Hux.
John Boyega as FN2187 is a defective clone who realizes that he's working for the wrong side.  FN2187 changes his name to Finn and joins the Rebellion to eventually become an African-American (Or rather African-Jakkuan Jedi Knight).
 


BB-8 warns Rey and Finn of approaching danger from Tie Fighters affiliated with the Sith Lords and the Galactic Empire


 Adam Driver as Sith Lord Apprentice Kylo Ren speaks to the severed skull of Anakin Skywalker aka Darth Vader.  Oh no, there's nothing wrong with doing that.  Folks who talk to severed skulls of legally dead genocidal maniacs and promising to finish what they started are perfectly normal. 


 Kylo Ren tortures Oscar Isaac as Poe Dameron

 The Millennium Falcon is being chased by some evil Tie Fighters.
 Finn and Rey takes lessons from Harrison Ford as Han Solo inside the Millennium Falcon.  No longer flippant and unbelieving, Han Solo ironically plays the role of the Obi-Wan Kenobi-like sage of wisdom and truth.

Somebody gives another person a light saber
 Rey runs towards her staff weapon gizmo thing
 Sith Lord Apprentise Kylo Ren and his private bodyguard staff who are kept separate from the Stormtroopers called the Knights of the Ren.
 Stormtroopers also march into action.
 Max Von Sydow as Maz Kanata lead Finn, Rey (Maz is clearly talking to somebody and it's not Finn (Who is instead looking at that weird robot thing standing next to BB-8).  Plus, you can see part of Rey's right leg in front of Finn.) and BB-8 into what used to be the Resistance Army Base of Operation on Yavin IV (From Star Wars Episode IV---A New Hope.  This was where Princes Leia gave medals of bravery and valor to both Han Solo and Luke Skywalker at the end of Star Wars Episode IV---A New Hope).  Now abandoned by the Resistance and the Jedi, it's now used by Maz Kanata instead for reasons yet to be known.
An X-Wing Fighter in battle against a Tie Fighter above Yavin IV (Possibly).
 Finn is apprehensive and suspicious when Poe Dameron greets him warmly.  Keep in mind that Finn used to be a Stormtrooper and the two probably fought against each other in an earlier battle and now they have to interact with each other as friends (Awkward).
 Gwendoline Christie as Captain Phasma leads her army of Stormtroopers into battle.
 Why is Rey crying?
 Chewbacca and Han Solo thought they were being captured, but it turned out that they were not being captured.  So never mind.
 
 BB-8 is plugged into an X-Wing fighter instead of R2-D2 being plugged into an X-Wing fighter.  So I guess BB type of Droids also work just as well as an R2 type of Droid.  Also this planet with snow covered mountains turns out to be Death Star #3 (Also named Starkiller Base (Fun fact about Star Wars:  The Skywalker Family was originally named Starkiller in an early draft of Star Wars Episode IV---A New Hope.  For example: Anakin Starkiller and his son Luke Starkiller instead of Anakin Skywalker and his son Luke Skywalker.  Plus an early draft of Star Wars Episode IV---A New Hope depicted the first Death Star as being covered with mountains and snow, but the lack of special effects technology forced George Lucas to wait until now to reveal his grand epic vision.)).  A trench is starting to form in the fake snow covered mountain landscape of Death Star #3 (Also called Starkiller Base).
 Rey is no longer crying.  Rey is angry and she's ready to fight against somebody.
Watch out Rey, Sith Lord Apprentice Kylo Ren is behind you and he's about to chop off your head with his three sided light saber weapon.
 Why is Carrie Fisher as Princes Leia so sad, miserable and depressed.  Also, it appears as if Princess Leia and Han Solo finally tied the knot and got married at an unspecified period of time. 
 Kylo Ren without his helmet is ready for a light saber fight against a light saber carrying brand African-American (Or is it African-Jakkuan) Jedi Knight named Finn.  Awkward since Kylo Ren used to be Finn's employer at the start of the film (Or at least the film's trailer) at a time when Finn was a mere Stormtrooper.

No comments:

Post a Comment