Thursday, July 13, 2017

A ZOINK BY ANY OTHER NAME IS STILL A ZOINK

Man Who Smells Like Burnt Broccoli:  I'm famous for the Zoinks that I make.  A zoink is when you cause the situation to screech to a halt so you can fill the screen with tons of useless detail that has no meaningful purpose.  You know that I'm the culprit because I have a repulsive body odor that causes me to smell like burnt broccoli.  My refusal to take a bath to remove the stench of burnt broccoli is causing folks, mostly females, to feel uncomfortable around me.
Me:  Can you possibly be a bit more vague?  Are you talking about video games?  Are you talking about board games?  Are you causing real life situation that isn't related to video games nor board games to screech to a halt?  I don't understand.  You're not giving me much detail.
Man Who Smells Like Burnt Broccoli:  I don't need to give any detail because I control everything.  I'll just bribe the police to do what I wish which forces you into vigilantism.  I'll just attack you with non-stop zoinks until you defeat me through vigilantism. 
Me:  Acually, Zoink either comes from the television game show series Let's Make a Deal as a useless item won by a game show contestant when the fool gave up something of significant value.  Zoink was also an urban catchphrase slang uttered by Shaggy the Pot Smoking Hippy on the children's cartoon series Scooby Doo when a more talented meaningful enemy gives up a significant clue to the inept cowardly hippie for the chance to exchange freedom for a chance to be sent to jail.
Man Who Smells Like Burnt Broccoli:  So my definition of a zoink is useless piece of paranoid garbage of no worthwhile value.
Me:  That's exactly what I'm saying.
Man Who Smells Like Burnt Broccoli:  Who cares what you think?  I have the revolting body odor of burnt broccoli and there's no way you can punish me for refusing to take a bath.  You can only punish me through vigilantism and you're too much of a coward to punish me through vigilantism.  So there!
The Man Who Smells Like Burnt Broccoli chased after a girl trying to feel her up until he was beaten to a coma by her opposite gender love interests.  I frowned as I continued to walk down the street.
And as I'm lost in thought in the scorching hot Summertime, here are some photos of Minka Kelly.































































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