Monday, June 24, 2013

THE REALITIES ABOUT REALITY TELEVISION

In theory, we have all these reality television shows because they are supposed to be cheaper.  So how do we make cheap reality television shows?  Let me count the ways.
1.  By hiring expensive rock stars to judge amateur talent and award them recording industry contracts?  With luck, a brand new expensive rock star will be created by your reality television game show.  You can't even afford to hire the brand new expensive rock star that you created to brag about how great you are in creating expensive rock stars.  Don't forget the expensive cash prize. 
2.  By hiring normal human beings, starve them nearly to death, toss them out of airplanes and have them climb mountains.  Don't forget expensive insurance for all twenty plus game show contestants.  Don't forget the expensive cash prize.
3.  A sex starved woman or a sex stared man is surrounded by twenty-five opposite gender individuals, encouraged to have sex with all twenty-five of them.  Let's see, unplanned pregnancy.  Expensive vacations to expensive exotic locations.  Expensive falling in love dates.  Expensive weddings (Assuming these people really do fall in love with each other).  Don't forget the expensive cash prize.
4.  Dancing with the Stars.  Twelve expensive celebrities (Six men and six women) learn how to ball room dance from expensive dance instructors.  Toss in expensive talent judges.  Toss in two expensive hosts to provide commentary.  Don't forget the donate the expensive cash prize to charity.
5.  Celebrity Apprentice.  Donald Trump (Who is expensive to hire for a reality television game show) and two of his expensive children, Donald Trump Junior and Ivanka Trump, judges twenty expensive celebrities to see if any of them would qualify to function as pretend employees of the expensive to film in Trump Towers.  Donald Trump used to do this with normal human beings too, but normal human beings were deemed yucky and disgusting.  Donald Trump only hangs out with celebrities on Celebrity Apprentice while ordinary the Apprentice is mothballed into extinction.  Don't forget the donate the expensive cash prize to charity.  My problem with the apparently canceled the Apprentice and the still aired on television Celebrity Apprentice is this:  The contestant is living in Trump Towers for free on Donald Trump's dime, and the poor shmuck can't even enjoy it because he/she is too busy compressing three months of work within the span of seven days.  But hey, this is your chance to vote out Axil Rose.
6.  Hell's Kitchen.  Ordinary human beings are cooking expensive gourmet food that few people ever actually eat while a creepy homicidal and extremely expensive gourmet chef from England is screaming obscenities at them.  Expensive Cash prizes includes the chance to work for this creepy homicidal and extremely expensive gourmet chef from England for the rest of your natural life at one of his newest restaurants.  The lucky ones are voted out Chef Gordon Ramsey's empire.  The unlucky ones are stuck with Chef Gordon Ramsey forever.
Call me foolish, but it doesn't appear to me as if these reality television shows really are cheap and inexpensive when you really look at it.  Let's go back to mostly drama shows instead.
And as I'm lost in thought while skipping reality television and enjoying the scorching hot Summer days, here are some photos of Charlize Theron.


























 





 










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