THE FROG PRINCE REVISITED

Kristy McNichol looked directly at the camera.  She said directly to the camera, "Look, I never met the Frog Prince.  But hey, I'm starting to fall for the dude.  I want to take this to the next level.  So here I am in Venice, Italy and I'm in an expensive hotel waiting for the next challenge.  I'm convinced that I'm going to get the rose today and stay in the game."

There was pride on Kristy McNichol's face as she smiled in front of the camera.

******

Flash forward a few hours.  Kristy McNichol looked directly at Lena Dunham. 

Kristy McNichol said, "Come on, today is a good day.  We can't spend all of today locked up inside the same hotel room waiting for television produces to film the next challenge.  Let's go boating on a canoe while the Producers for the Celebrity Bachelor:  The Frog Prince Edition still continue to be missing in action."  When she say that Lena was hesitant, Kristy added, "I refuse to take no for an answer."
Lena replied, "I've been needing to get some exercise anyway, so let's do it.  Let's go boating on a canoe.  I always wanted to do so in Venice, Italy anyway."

Kristy McNichol already had a canoe already rented.  Kristy paddled the canoe and Lena sat directly facing Kristy.  Kristy kept paddling the canoe until she reached an isolated portion of Venice, Italy.
Lena asked, "What are we doing here. I always felt this portion of Venice, Italy was kind of creepy."
Kristy said, "You and I need to have a conversation."
Lena said, "I don't want to have a conversation with you in this portion of Venice, Italy.  I want to have a conversation with you back at the hotel."
Kristy said, "I'm going back to the hotel alone without you.  Let's have our conversation."
Lena said, "I don't want to fight against you because we're buddies."
Lena Dunham's right hand slapped Kristy's left shoulder blades.

Kristy McNichol was turned into a frog.  The frog was placed into an air tight jar with the lid screwed on tight.  The jar was dropped into the isolated canal of Venice, Italy all the way to the bottom of the canal.  Lena Dunham paddled the canoe back to the hotel alone.
Kristy McNichol clearly didn't get a rose from the Frog Prince version of the Bachelor.

******

Dakota Fanning, Felicity Jones,  Kirsten Dunst and Kate Mara walked alongside Lena Dunham as day slowly faded into night.  The grassy field that the five women walked across was empty and deserted.  Felicity spun to face the other ladies assembled in front of her.
Felicity said, "I love that fairy tale.  What was it?  Oh yeah, that's right.  The Frog Prince.  Oh yes, that tale was so romantic."
Lena said, "Too bad only one lady gets to kiss the frog to make him a prince.  What happens to the other ladies who ends up missing out?"
Kate replied, "There probably is plenty of frogs to go around."
Dakota said, "I need to get something from the car, but it's too dark for me to venture out to the car alone.  One of you ladies need to accompany me."
Kirsten replied, "Felicity would like to go."
Felicity asked, "I would?"
Kirsten said, "Oh yeah, it would give Kate and I a chance to talk with our friend Lena for a little bit."
Felicity said, "Dakota and I won't take too long."
Dakota said, "Don't do anything rash while Felicity are getting something from the car."
Felicity Jones and Dakota Fanning walked towards the car.  Kirsten and Kate faced Lena.
Kirsten said, "Heck of an evening."
Lena said, "I still don't understand why we're in the middle of nowhere while it's seconds away from evening."
Kate replied, "Kirsten and I are wacky that way."

Lena asked, "What are we doing here."
Kate replied, "The five of us girls are getting to know each other better."
Lena said, "Dakota and Felicity are walking towards the car."
Kirsten said, "You heard what they said.  They need to get a few things from the car."

Lena asked, "Are we going camping?"
Kate replied, "Not that I'm aware of."
Lena asked, "If Felicity and Dakota isn't getting camping equipment from the car, then why does it take two girls to get a few things from the car?"
Kirsten said, "Because it's getting dark outside with early evening just starting."
Kate faced Lena and said, "You're full of questions all of a sudden."

Lena said, "Try to look at it from my perspective.  We're in the middle of nowhere and two of you are heading towards the car for no reason.  What am I supposed to think about it all."
Kirsten said, "You're supposed to thank the four of us girls for inviting you along."
Lena said, "I'm thankful the four of you girls invited me along."
Kirsten said, "Then stop asking questions."
Kate said, "Ladies who ask questions won't get to enjoy this grassy field in the early evening.  Oh look, there's a dense forest over there to the right.  Let's walk towards it."

Lena said, "I don't want to walk towards the dense forest."
Kirsten said, "I think you desire a walk towards the dense forest."
Lena said, "You don't want to walk towards the dense forest because we're buddies."
Lena Dunham slapped her right hand on Kirsten's left shoulder blades. 

Kirsten Dunst turned into a frog.  The frog was put into an air tight jar with the lid screwed on tight.
Kate faced Lena said, "I guess the two of us will walk towards the dense forest without assistance from Kirsten.  Such a shame.  Kirsten was a nice lady."
Lena said, "You don't want to walk towards the dense forest either because we're buddies."
Lena Dunham slapped her right hand on Kate's left shoulder blades.

Kate Mara turned into a frog.  The frog was put into a second air tight jar with the lid screwed on tight.  Lena spun to face Felicity Jones as she walked towards her.
Felicity asked, "Where is Kirsten and Kate?"
Lena replied, "I turned Kirsten and Kate into frogs."
Felicity said, "Turn them back to human."
Lena said, "I can't because frog Kirsten is inside one air tight jar and frog Kate is inside a second air tight jar.  It's just Dakota, myself and you from now on."
Felicity said, "Ok, this wasn't what was planned.  Let's go for a walk towards the dense forest over there to the right." 

Lena said, "I don't want to go for a walk to the dense forest to the right."
Felicity said, "What you want and what you're going to get are two different things.  Let's go for a walk to the dense forest to the right.  Stop protesting so we can make it quick and easy."
Lena said, "We're not walking to the dense forest because we're buddies."
Lena Dunham slapped her right hand on Felicity Jones' left shoulder blades.

Felicity Jones turned into a frog.  The frog was placed inside a third air tight jar with the lid screwed on tightly.  Dakota Fanning walked towards Lena Dunham.
Dakota asked, "Where is Kirsten, Kate and Felicity?"
Lena replied, "I turned all three of them into frogs and then placed them in three air tight jars with the lids screwed on tightly.  It's just you and I from now on."
Dakota said, "I wasn't supposed to do this.  I was supposed to stay near the car." 

Lena asked, "Why do you need to stay near the car?"
Dakota said, "It doesn't matter.  We're going for a walk to the dense forest over to the right."
Lena said, "I said it once and I'll say it again.  We're staying right here."

Dakota said, "Don't be difficult.  It will all be over before you know it."
Lena said, "I don't want it to be over before I know it."
Dakota said, "I didn't want to hear about how you defeated Kirsten, Kate and Felicity in an act of self defense, but it happened.  Come on and let's get moving."

Lena said, "Don't force me to defeat you too."
Dakota said, "Your arrogance is pissing me off.  Come on.  We're walking to the dense forest and there's nothing you can do about it."
Lena said, "We're not walking to the dense forest because we're buddies."
Lena slapped her right hand on Dakota's left shoulder blades.

Dakota Fanning turned into a frog.  The frog was placed inside an air tight jar with the lid screwed on tight.  Lena Dunham is the only lady left standing in the grassy field.  She walked halfway across the grassy field until she reached a male frog.  Lena Dunham kissed the male frog and it' turned into a prince.  Lena Dunham kissed her future spouse.  She gets to become a princess.

Lena said, "Too bad only one lady gets to kiss the frog to make him a prince."