THIS, THAT AND THE OTHER THING

And so Kelly Clarkson rented a house in the middle of nowhere.  The neighbors are the scariest form of redneck hillbilly psychos.  Why are horror film serial killers always either redneck hillbilly psychos listening to Toby Keith albums or Oriental ghosts from China?  Anyway, ignoring the scariness of her neighbors, Kelly Clarkson moved in and promptly started wearing the sexiest outfit she had in her possession.  Naturally, the car picks the wrong time to break down.  Even if the car works, she lost the car keys.  Car keys always ends up getting lost in horror films.  The cell phone breaks down.  The pizza delivery guy got murdered on the way to delivering the pizza.  You know you're living in a wrong neighborhood when even the pizza delivery company hangs up on you instead of processing the pizza order.  There are weird creaking sounds.  There are weird sounds of footsteps that doesn't belong to Kelly Clarkson.  There were the necessary number of false scares.  Only in a horror film would somebody be insensitive to dress up like a serial killer as a joke.  Just when she had one false scare too many, Kelly Clarkson is suddenly starting to wonder if there really is a serial killer inside her house.  Upon which she.....

This story will be continued tomorrow.