Evan Peters is making dinner in the kitchen. Emma Roberts is sitting on a couch while wearing only her sweat pants and her sleaveless tee shirt. Emma is drinking a can of beer while watching a football game on television.
EMMA: I'm starved. When is dinner comming.
EVAN: Get off my case lady. I vacuumed the rug. I cleaned the windows and the bathrooms. I went shopping for groceries. I'm tired and exhausted and you never help out with anything.
Emma Roberts gets up from her couch and she punches him in the face. Evan breaks down in tears and cowers in a submissive pose.
EMMA: Don't you ever talk to me like that. Just shut up and hurry with my dinner.
Emma Roberts sits back down on the couch and tosses a can of beer on the floor.
EMMA: Hey, pick that up and get me another brew.
EVAN: I'm sorry. I'll get it right now.
Evan Peters races to the fridge and gets another can of beer to Emma Roberts. He picks up the empty can of beer and tosses it in the recycle bin. The lasagna burns in the oven in the process. Emma Roberts smells the burned lasagna.
EMMA: Hey jackass, I'm I smelling burned dinner? I better not be smelling my dinner being burned. I get angry when my dinner burns.
EVAN: I have to get you beer...
EMMA: Which you can't even open for me.
Emma Roberts punches Evan Peters in the face. Evan Peters continues to cry as he talks.
EVAN: I have to toss the empty can of beer in the recycle bin.
Emma punches Even Peters and breaks his nose in the process. And when Evan Peters cowers in fear and terror, Emma Roberts bits him in the arm.
EMMA: You're useless. You're worthless. You can't do anything right.
EVAN: (Talking and sobbing) I'm sorry. I'll try to do better.
EMMA: I bet your friends are trying to get you to have me arrested for domestic violence. I promise you that you'll regret the day you visit a battered spouse shelter.
EVAN: (Talking and sobbing) I never done such a thing for the past two months.
Emma punched Evan wildly, broke his nose again before shoving him into a wall. He falls to the ground and the burned lasagna crashes to the ground. Emma furious kicks him wildly while he sits on the floor sobbing.
EMMA: It's bad enough you burned dinner, but you dropped it on the floor. How dare you. And I'm missing football trying to teach you a lesson.
EVAN (Talking and sobbing) I'm sorry. It won't happen again.
EMMA: Now you have to cook dinner again.
Emma tosses her can of beer at Evan Peter's face and causes bleeding and bruising.
EMMA: And get me another can of beer you stupid useless fool.
And it was days like that in which Evan Peters found himself wishing he filed charges against Emma Roberts for Domestic Violence on July 7, 2013 while on vacation in Montreal, Canada. But he chickened out and was forced to drop out of the Battered Spouse Group Therepy with other guys who were beaten up by their girlfriends and their wives. Now Evan Peters is in a worse crises mode situation than ever before. And Emma Roberts looked at him with a scary glare as if she was about to kill him in cold blood. Yet he continued to cower as he cooked a new batch of lasagna, cleaned up the mess of the old burned lasagna. And tears rolled down his face as he cried and cooked while Emma Roberts drank beer and watched football.
Emma Roberts tied Evan Peters in chains while beating him senseless before going for a walk the next day. And today was another day of endless crying as Emma Roberts continues to afflict crimes of Domestic Violence against Evan Peters.
Of course, Emma Roberts puts on the nice girl routine each and every time she commits the crime of domestic abuse against Evan Peters and everything returns to normal. Then she becomes angry and grumpy and starts physically abusing Evan Peters once again. And the cycle of demostic abuse that Emma Roberts afflicts against Evan Peters repeats over and over. And Evan Peters falls for it each and every time Emma Roberts pulls the water works routine when he knows what he really should do about Emma Roberts and her domestic abuse crimes against him. He thought about going to a battered spouse shelter and away from the home he shares with Emma Roberts, but then he changes his mind everytime Emma Roberts pulls the nice girl routine complete with apologetic sobbing.
Whenever Evan Peters cheats on Emma Roberts, she responds by beating him up beyond common sense and reason. Emma Roberts pounded Evan Peters for cheating on her so badly, that she put him in the hospital a few times. Yet, Emma Roberts never saw anything wrong with spending an afternoon at the amusement park with Chord Overstreet.
Of course, there never was any kissing or anything else sexual going on between Chord Overstreet and Emma Roberts. It's just a way of releasing steam after hours of frustration of being stuck in a romance with the useless and onproductive Evan Peters. There's nothing wrong with Emma Roberts hitting the bar with her girlfriends for hours until she's falling down drunk and then beating up Evan Peters senselessly a few hours later upon returning home.
One day, because Evan Peters didn't mop the floor properly and because she was falling down drunk while wearing sweat pants and a sleeveless tee shirt, Emma Roberts pounded Evan Peters so badly, that he needed to be hospitalized with bruises and broken limbs. Yet, instead of calling an ambulence, she went to a perfume launch party with some of her girlfriends. Evan Peters friends dropped by and begged him to go to a battered spouse shelter. Go to a battered spouse group therepy. File criminal charges against Emma Roberts. Shoot her in self defence. Poison her food with cynide. Do something. Do anything. Living with all these bruises simply won't do. And yet, Evan Peters was always to cowardly to do the right thing. And while Evan Peters was driven to the hospital by her friends when Emma Roberts pounded him sencelessly, Emma Roberts attended a perfume launch party with her friends including Kate Mara.
Kate Mara asked, "So how is the old ball and chain."
Emma replied, "He was getting kind of uppity, so I had to reeducate the guy. It's not my fault for beating him black and blue. It's his fault for making me so angry."
Kate said, "Well, it's required in the Holy Bible that you beat Evan Peters black and blue everytime he fails to satisfy you. What you're doing is sanctioned by GOD himself."
Emma replied, "That's what I say everytime I attack Evan Peters with a baseball bat for not doing his household chores properly enough. GOD wants me to do this."
AnnaSophia Robb approached the two women.
AnnaSophia Robb said, "Well, I was supposed to marry this dude. However, after the wedding, his parents failed to pay a high enough dowery. So I poured gasoline all over my spouse and I set him on fire. Hey, it's the right thing to do. The Holy Bible told me to do so."
Emma Roberts replied, "Right on girlfriend. That's what I'm talking about."
Kate Mara said, "Now that's the way to get things done. It's nice talking to you, but the party is starting to wind down and I need to get back to the old ball and chain before the nagging gets too intense. You know how it is when the spouse starts to nag you."
Emma said, "I know that all too well."
And so Kate Mara left the perfume launch party and walked towards her car to drive back home.
AnnaSophia Robb said, "Well some fool actually wants to put me on trail for setting my spouse on fire because his family didn't pay a high enough dowery. So I need to get some rest so I can talk to my defense attourney about escaping the courtroom trial without any penalty."
Emma said, "Good luck with that."
AnnaSophia said, "I'm not worried. I got the best lawyers in town."
And so AnnaSophia Robb left the party and walked towards her car to drive back home.
Emma Roberts left the perfume launch party to walk to her car.
Emma Roberts was just in time to attend the film premier for Jesus Henry Christ with her aunt Julia Roberts and her other aunt Lisa Roberts Gillan (The lawfully wedded wife of Tony Gillan). Both of Emma Roberts aunts are actresses. Aunt Julia was much more successful in her acting career than Aunt Lisa.
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