HELP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!

The Man in Distress looked at his Soon-To-Be-Ex-Girlfriend with a confused expression on his face as his Soon-To-Be-Ex-Girlfriend tied him to the railroad tracks as the train rumbled closer.
The Man in Distress:  Was it all the times I forgot your birthday?
Soon-To-Be-Ex-Girlfriend:  It wasn't your birthday.
The Man in Distress:  Was it all the times I forgot our anniversary?
Soon-To-Be-Ex-Girlfriend:  It wasn't the anniversary of the first day we met either.
The Man in Distress:  Did I treat you badly?  I thought we had a great romance.
Soon-To-Be-Ex-Girlfriend:  You were great.  You were the best lover I ever had.
The Man In Distress:  Then why are you tying me to the railroad tracks and waiting for the train to run me over.
Soon-To-Be-Ex-Girlfriend:  Because your previous reincarnation incarnation battered women, battered children, drove wives and children into the witness protection plan, was a horrific spendaholic,  never help out with the cleaning chores, mocked the wife's cleaning chores and was a drunkard who lived to drink and drive.  Even though your current reincarnation incarnation was none of those things, you still need to die because I want revenge.
And so the Soon-To-Be-Ex-Girlfriend gagged the Man In Distress as she snuck away from the railroad tracks.  And as the train came closer to running over the Man In Distress while he was tied to the railroad tracks, a development occurred that nobody expected.  What happened next was...
This story will be continued tomorrow...