MEANWHILE, AT THE GAS STATION

Reese Witherspoon pulled her car at the gas station.  And as she activated the gas pump machine, she unscrewed the lid on the gas tank.  And as she lowered the gas station nozzle into the gas tank of her car, she heard a loud voice behind her.
PAPARAZZI #1:  Can you stand a little bit to the left.  I can't get a decent photo of you.
REESE:  Should I stand to the left or to the right?
PAPARAZZI #1:  Stand a little bit to the left and hold both arms over your head and shake your hips a little bit more.  And try to pout as you fill up the gasoline tank of your car.
PAPARAZZI #2:  Try to have your hair fly around a little bit more.  Come on, try to be sexy for us.
REESE (Doing as she's told):  How about this.  Am I doing good?
PAPARAZZI #3:  No, this won't do any good for us.  Can you separate your legs a little bit more.  Try to act naughty when pouring gasoline into your car.  Think metaphor.
PAPARAZZI #1:  It still won't work.  The makeup is all wrong.  It doesn't match the outfit.
PAPARAZZI #2:  What did we say about matching your makeup with your outfit when venturing outside.  How can we take decent unauthorized photos if you won't work with us.
PAPARAZZI #3:  Oh no, I almost killed a three year old taking an unauthorized photo of Reese Witherspoon.
REESE:  Don't worry, the three year old had it coming for a very long time.
PAPARAZZI #1:  Don't worry about the sobbing little brat.  We have unauthorized photos to take.
And that's the National Enquirers version of the controversy that took place at the BP Gas Station down the street and around the corner.