ERICA DURANCE (AKA ERICA PARKER) IS A COMIC BOOK MAIDEN IN DISTRESS

Erica Durance was kidnapped by a colorful action costume super-suit wearing super-villain with a reindeer theme with reindeer antlers on his head.  She was tied up, but Reindeer Man failed to have her gagged.  That gave Erica Durance an opening.
Erica Durance cried out, "Help me Superman!  Help!  I'm a Maiden in Distress.  I need a man dressed in a colorful action costume super-suit to save me since I'm incapable of saving myself.  Help me.  Help me.  Help.  Help.  Help."
Reindeer Man replied, "Nobody can save you.  You're at my mercy."
Erica Durance replied, "You're wrong.  Superman always saves me.  Superman is invincible."
After several hours of waiting, an African-American who looked like a basketball player wearing a suit of armor and carrying a Norwegian looking sledgehammer named Steel approached Reindeer Man and offered his apology.
Steel replied, "I offer my apologies, but Bane has murdered Superman as well as Batman.  As we wait for the Superman's Son to take has place and as we wait for Batman's Son to take his place, I'm afraid that you're stuck with me.  Though I'm incompetent, I'll keep the fight going until multiple versions of the planet Earth merges and the energy waves changes everything forever."
Reindeer Man pushed Erica Durance down a well.  Erica Durance fell down the well and cracked her skull open in several places.
Steel replied, "Oh darn, that's the ninety-seventh maiden in distress that I failed to save.  I guess I must wait for the real Superman to return and trigger a thermal nuclear holocaust in order for normalcy to return.  Oh well, sorry I bothered you."
Reindeer Man replied, "No problem.  I'll see you later."
Steel turned around and walked back home to drink a six pack of beer and fall asleep while watching cartoons on television.
This story will be continued tomorrow......