ME: That's wonderful.
THE DUDE WHO WON'T GO HOME ©: My Redhead Girlfriend had the perfect romance. We were in love. We were happy. We came close to getting married.
ME: Don't forget to invite me to the wedding.
THE DUDE WHO WON'T GO HOME ©: The wedding won't happen though. The wedding has been canceled.
ME: Why has the wedding has been canceled.
THE DUDE WHO WON'T GO HOME ©: My girlfriend fell in love with somebody else. So I wrote a story about her in which I beat her up and killed her before mailing it to her house as well as mailing copies to all her friends. I pushed her around and screamed at her causing her New and Better Lover to push me upside down into the nearest trash can. So I followed her around, constantly taking photographs of her while shouting rude insults in her direction. Then when I tried to beat her up on her wedding day to the New and Better Lover, I was arrested. Now I'm facing life in prison in solitary confinement with the option of getting the death penalty. No Lawyer will represent me. No Public Defender is willing to touch the case. So I'm representing myself. There is a good side to it all.
ME: What is the good side to it all?
THE DUDE WHO WON'T GO HOME ©: I still have all the photos that I constantly kept taking of her to masturbate for hours to. I have more photos of the former Redhead Girlfriend than I could possibly know what to do with.
ME: Until you have to check into prison. You can't take all the photos you took of the former Redhead Girlfriend with you to prison.
THE DUDE WHO WON'T GO HOME ©: Damn, I never thought of that.
And as I'm lost in thought while thinking about cameras and photography, here are some photos of Heather Graham.