Friday, May 3, 2013


So how do you promote Iron Man 3 in China when the main villain is a chinese super-villain named the Mandarin aka Gene Khan aka Zhang Tong aka Tem Borjigin aka Arnold Brock aka Xin Xhang/Shin Xhang aka Trevor Slattery.  Well, Walt Disney Studios (Disney purchased Marvel Comics and owns all of it's characters) added a four minute sequence available only in China.  That's not necessarily a good thing.  Allow me to explain.
There's a extremely minor character in Iron Man 3 named Doctor Wu played by Chinese actor Wang Xueqi (Who's a household name in China, but unknown in the United States).  So far, so good.  I didn't get to the actual four minute China-only Subplot though.  He's watching Iron Man fighting against Middle Eastern English (His family originated from India) actor Ben Kingsley as the Mandarin on television.  For the United States, that's pretty much it.  In China, it's much longer.  You see, there's a reason why this pointless sequence of an expensive Chinese born actor is watching television and pretty much doing nothing else is in the film at all in the first place.   
Surrounded by Chinese Children, Iron Man is tired and exhausted.  Doctor Wu said, "Tony doesn't have to do this alone—China can help."  And that's where Doctor Wu cures Iron Man of his exhaustion by pouring him a glass of a Chinese milk brand named Yili.  Yes, Doctor Wu just happened to be carrying a glass and a chilled bottle of Yili milk around with him everywhere he goes in the streets of Communist China.  Iron Man drinks Yili milk and is ready to fight Mandarin.  But before flying off, Doctor Wu offers to remove the  shrapnel from his heart, remove the pacemaker from his heart and cure him of his cyborg disease.  Doctor Wu agrees to perform the needed surgery because China is the first place to go for first rate cardiovascular surgery.
Chinese actress Fan Bingbing (She's a household name in China, but again an unknown obscurity in the United States) enters Doctor Wu's office to tell him that Tony Stark is here.  Fan Binbbing only appears in this scene and her character doesn't have a name.  But she appears to be Doctor Wu's sidekick in cardiovascular surgery.
And so Doctor Wu performs cardiovascular surgery to remove the shrapnel from Iron Man's heart, removes the pacemaker from his heart and cures him of the cyborg disease.  In other words, the cardiovascular surgery is a success.
Don Cheadle as War Machine and Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts hugs Tony Stark after Doctor Wu cures him of the cyborg disease and turns him into an ordinary human being again.  And with the Forbidden City next to Tiananmen Square, Doctor Wu and Tony Stark tells the people of Communist China that Iron Man is gone forever and freedom is restored.  Though it's not known why Tony Stark is still wearing his Iron Man suit if he's no longer able to operate it anymore.
And that's the version of Iron Man 3 that the citizens of Communist China are seeing thanks to an exclusive China only version that's available only in communist China.
Oh yes, Fan Bingbing also plays Clarice Ferguson aka Blink in the upcoming Marvel Comics super-hero film X-Men:  Days of Future Past.

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