LIONS AND TIGERS, OH MY

Gentle Reader, how does somebody go about becoming a professional lion tamer?  I might want to join the circus if it continues to be rough for me to find employment.  In case it's possible to join the circus and become a lion tamer, I would like to survive when I'm locked in a cage full of lions and tigers.  So how does somebody go about learning to be a lion tamer.  Is there a school for such a job?  Do you learn from a wise old lion taming master living like a hermit on top of a mountain?  And why are wise old hermit geniuses always living on the top of a mountain.  A mountain is not a convenient place for anybody to live.  And somebody with some degree of intelligence would avoid living on a mountain.  And if I learn from a wise old hermit living on a mountain top to be a lion tamer, how do you go about bringing enough lions and tigers to the top of the mountain without getting eaten in the process.  Ah yes Gentle Reader, I have too many questions and not enough answers. 

As I proceed to learn the secrets of lion taming so that I could succeed in running off and joining the circus to become a lion tamer (or a circus clown) someday, here is a photo of rock star (And former girlfriend of Mick Jagger) Marianne Faithfull.