ALICIA: It's so hard to chop down the tree. Why won't it fall down.
HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: The trunk is too thick. You should try to make the task easier. Try cutting off some of the branches first. Then chop away the part of the trunk that's thinner.
ALICIA: That's going to take too much time. I just spotted some Spotted Owls. I really need to get rid of those. The only way to kill off those rare endangered Spotted Owls is to cut down this tree. I need this goddamn tree to go down now.
HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Maybe you should rethink this tree cutting task.
ALICIA: No, you don't understand. I want this goddamn tree to go down right now.
Alicia Silverstone starts chopping the tree much more frantically.
ALICIA: Go down you damn tree. Become firewood already.
Alicia Silverstone pauses.
ALICIA: Perhaps you're right. Maybe I should cut away the branches.
Alicia Silverstone climbes the tree to the very top without her tree cutting hatchet.
ALICIA: Hand me the hatchet so I can cut away the branches.
HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: I'm starting to have second thoughts about this. The Spotted Owls are innocent and pure. What did the poor Spotted Owls ever did to you?
ALICIA: To heck with the Spotted Owls. It's either this tree or it's me. Anyway, this is your idea. Give me the goddamn hatchet.
The Household Servant pauses before he....
This story will be continued tomorow....
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