AND WE SWITCH TO KATHERINE MCPHEE'S SIDE OF THE STORY (AS WRITTEN BY A NAME DROPPING MINIMUM WAGE EMPLOYMENT LABORER WHO NEVER ACTUALLY MET ANY OF THE FAMOUS PEOPLE THAT HE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT. HE'S ONE OF THOSE MINIMUM WAGE LABORERS WHO'S ALWAYS SHOVING FILM SCRIPTS INTO THE FACES OF FAMOUS PEOPLE HE NEVER MET IN FUTILE ATTEMPTS TO LAND A FILM DEAL AS HE WRITE INTERNET BLOGS WITH NEEDLESSLY LONG TITLES).

Katherine McPhee was walking to the film set for the television show Smash.  She was talking to the latest guy that she was going out on a date with for the past month.
KATHERIEN MCPHEE:  It's so hard for me to fall in love.  Nothing ever turns out right.
DUDE:  I know what you mean.  True love always falls apart for me too.  What are your problems?
KATHERINE MCPHEE:  All the dudes I go out with either turns out to be gay or they do really weird things for very weird reasons.
DUDE:  That's horrible.  Dudes should never do that to you.
KATHERINE MCPHEE:  That's what I'm always saying.  Thank Goddess I have normal people like you to balance out all the strange romance avoiding gay acting weirdos that I've been stuck with in the past.
Suddenly, there was a picture of a hippopotamus flashing across the sky.  The Dude suddenly takes off his clothes to reveal a gay looking hippopotamus outfit that he has under his clothing.
KATHERINE MCPHEE:  What are you doing?
DUDE:  I'm afraid that I wasn't truly honest with you.  You see, I'm a Colorful Action Costume Super-Suit wearing Super-Hero and my name is Hippopotamus Man.  I have to end our date right now because Crack the Stoned has stolen the Magic Glove of the Last of the Infinity Men to activate the Magic Cube of Twelve Billion Years to release a Thousand Frost Snakes from the Planet Flag 55.  The Planet Flag 55 is filled only with Colorful Action Costume Super-Suit Wearing Super-Heroes that's stuck in the Dimension of Dreams and threatens to enter the real world to destroy Earth unless I can convince the entire planet Flag 55 to stay in the Dimension of Dreams until we can stabilize the planet in orbit around Earth.  Now if you excuse me, I might fight crime in Australia.
The Dude that she was going out with for the past month ran off while dressed like a gay Hippopotamus and hopped inside an van that looked like a giant hippopotamus.  The Hippo-Mobile drove off down the street in a cloud of exhaust fumes.
KATHERINE MCPHEE:  Yup, I'm suddenly a magnet for weird acting gay men dressed like weirdos.  Why am I so lucky as to become a magnet for homosexuals pretending to be straight?  Katherine McPhee frowned as she entered the set for Smash---A television show about the behind the scenes making of a toe tapping musical extravaganza.