SUPER-HEROS IN THE MORNING JUST BEFORE THE COFFEE BREWS AND THE TOAST IS TOASTED

Sarah Hyland woke up to the sound of an alarm.  Dressed in a very slinky erotic nightgown, she was ready for another day of work on the set of the television series Modern Family.  The dude that Sarah Hyland was sleeping with was getting dressed up in her exercise clothing.
SARAH:  What are you doing?
DUDE:  I just got bitten by a radioactive butterfly and now I'm infected with Gamma Radiation.  From now on, I'm going to be a super-hero.  From now on, I will fight crime in my colorful action costume super-suit under the name Captain California.
SARAH:  You're wearing the pants and top that I wear at the gym.
DUDE:  And it fits me perfectly.  Isn't that great.
SARAH:  I'm not sure if I should punch you in the face for dressing like a transvestite or if I should punch you in the face for insulting me because my clothes actually fits you.
DUDE:  I was going to be dressed like a gay viking, but dressing like a gay California resident would be so much more San Fransisco based.  I could dress like a gay forest animal instead.  Should I wear a mask so that nobody will know who I am to protect the people that I love.
SARAH:  I think you should wear a mask so that nobody will know that I'm dumb enough to date you.  Please tell me when you're leaving so that we won't leave the apartment at the same time.  Also make sure there is nobody walking down the hallway before leaving.  I don't want anybody to know that we're still dating since I broke up with you three seconds ago.
DUDE:  That's ok, I'm going to fly straight out of the window.
SARAH:  Human beings can't fly without an airplane.
DUDE:  Getting bitten by a butterfly with gamma radiation gave me the power of flight without an airplane.  I'm stronger, faster, better and gayer looking than the average man.
The Dude that Sarah Hyland was sleeping with jumped out of the window in Sarah Hyland's bedroom.  He fell twenty stories to his death and smashed across the street in a bloody disgusting pulp.  Somebody screamed about gay suicide from below the window to Sarah Hyland's bedroom.
SARAH:  There goes a day without tabloid scandal.