ONLY YOU CAN CAUSE FOREST FIRES

Jessie J is a stage name created by a twenty-four year old rock star named Jessica Cornish.  And after performing in the closing ceremonies for the 2012 Summer Olympic Games in London, England and a few more concerts scattered around England, it was time for a vacation.  So off she flew to a forest nearby Denver, Colorado in the United States of America.  And so Jessie Cornish aka Jessie J chain smoked cigarettes, lit nine different camp fires, set fire to trees blocking the area where she wanted to pitch tent and composed artwork that utilized fire.  Jessie Cornish aka Jessie J also started to fiddle around with fireworks with her lit cigarette always falling out of her lips, dropping nearby the fireworks before falling onto a pile of dried brittle leaves.  Instead of stomping out the lit cigarette, she simply lit a new cigarette and kept on making artwork involving fire while fiddling with some fireworks at the same time.  One hundred buckets of gasoline and one hundred canisters of kerosene was located nearby her car with a badly damaged gas tank.  Smokey the Bear walked up.  Yes, I know that bears can't talk.  However, if it were possible for bears to talk, this is what Smokey the Bear would've said to Jessie J.
SMOKEY THE BEAR:  Stop doing that Jessie J.  Only you can stop forest fires.
JESSIE J:  Oh please, don't be a wanker.  I do it all the time in the streets of London, England.  I'll do it here to.  Stop telling me what to do.
SMOKEY THE BEAR:  You're going to burn the entire forest down.  Nobody will ever enjoy this forest for decades.  Wild animals will be deprived of food and shelter.  The ecosystem will be destroyed.
JESSIE J:  Number one, animals belong in a zoo, not in the wild.  Number two, this forest is long overdo to be developed into houses and shopping malls.  Number two, there's no proof that forest fires will destroy food and shelter for wild animals.  There's no proof that forest fires will destroy the ecosystem.  Any such proof you may offer was created by amateur  first year science students and it's not based on the Holy Bible.  Since the Holy Bible doesn't mention forest fires wrecking anything, then I can burn down all the trees I want because Human Beings are better.  Human Beings never make mistakes because the Holy Bible says that Human Being are incapable of making mistakes.  Plus, I'm living in a mansion that's two miles wide and one mile tall and has it's own zip code in London, England.  I have nine limousines.  You're just a wild animal living like a homeless vagrant in some trees and bushes that I'm about to burn down.  I'm better than wild animals because I'm more productive than wild animals.  Plus, I keep fleeing the country to avoid paying higher United Staetes taxes because London, England doesn't have the same tax rate that the United States has.  So go away you horrible wild bear.  I have to reason to talk further with you.
SMOKEY THE BEAR:  I beg you one last time.  Don't do this.  Don't burn this forest down.
JESSIE J:  I'm sorry, I didn't know we were still having a conversation.
Smokey the Bear realized that if he bludgeoned Jessie J with his shovel several times, he might have a chance to extinguish all the fires and save the forest.  However, Smokey the Bear is a talking bear who fights for truth, justice and the United States Forest Service way of life.  Bludgeoning reckless forest burning arsonists like Jessie J with a shovel isn't the way the United States Forest Service conducts business.  After much thought done very quickly, Smokey the Bear realized what he must do to save the forest from being burned to the ground.  Smokey the Bear looked at his shovel and the decision that he made was....
This story will be continued tomorrow...