THE ADVENTURES OF HOWARD THE DUCK AND HIS GIRLFRIEND SIDEKICK SOPHIA BUSH

Needless to say, Sophia Bush's life is in a state of transition.  Her previous television series One Tree Hill ended after nine seasons.  Her new television series Partners is just starting to broadcasting episodes.  Yet, Sophia Bush's comic book collecting habits hasn't changed.  And to help pay for her super-hero comic book collecting habits, Sophia Bush found employment as the paid girlfriend and sidekick to the Marvel Comics Colorful Action Costume Super-Suit wearing Super-Hero Howard the Duck.  What can I say?  Sophia Bush heard the theme song to the original classic super-hero movie Howard the Duck and was so impressed that she had to sign herself up for Howard the Duck's second tour of duty.    And for their next mission Howard the Duck and his girlfriend sidekick are investigating the Golden Ducks Playing Poker oil painting found below the Old Wooden Church of the Quacker Quaker Quandon People.
HOWARD THE DUCK:  This oil Painting depicting ducks playing Poker may be useless, but it still has a special place in my heart.  We should risk our lives just to save this useless oil painting.
SOPHIA BUSH:  Hey lover dude, duck.
HOWARD THE DUCK:  That's right toots, I'm a duck.
SOPHIA BUSH:  No seriously, duck.
HOWARD THE DUCK:  You better believe that I was born a duck.  I'm proud of it.
SOPHIA BUSH:  Just shut up and listen %&$#*$^ it.  Duck!  Duck!  Duck!  Duck!  For GOD sake Duck.  If you value your life, duck.
HOWARD THE DUCK:  I'll never know why I chose you as my girlfriend and sidekick.  I told you once, I told you a thousand times.  Of course I was born a duck.  How can I avoid being born a duck.
A circular chainsaw appeared from thin air and sliced off Howard the Duck's head off.  The oil painting depicting ducks playing poker was also chopped in half.  Howard the Duck fell the floor dead in a messy splatter of duck blood.
SOPHIA BUSH:  I told that &$$%^&! to duck.  Now I'll be eating roasted duck in wine vinaigrette for dinner tonight.  I guess Howard the Duck will never learn that I'm secretly the leader of the Quacker Quaker Quandon People.
Sophia Bush releases an evil laugh as she kicks the dead body of Howard the Duck with disrespect.  Will Howard the Duck survive being decapitated?  Is this the final chapter of the comic book super-hero adventures of Howard the Duck?  This story will be continued with brand new complications for our fine feathered friend tomorrow.....