Man With a Scratchy Voice That's Hard to Hear: Look at all these animals. Number four. The animals are running free without restrictions across the city. Number four. It's so fun and silly. Number four. Somebody better call the zookeeper to round up the animals to put the animals back into their cages. Number four. In the meantime, I'm going to board my airplane at the airport. Number four. I hope something bad doesn't happen on my way to my airplane as I walk through the airport. Number four.
Me: Number one, there are no animals running free. The animals never left the zoo. Number two, we're not at the airport. We're nowhere near the airport. Number three, isn't that the plot for a Bruce Willis film?
Man With a Scratchy Voice That's Hard to Hear: I'm going to ask people who hates my guts to pose for porn photos. Number Four. I hope nothing bad happens to me. Number four.
Me: Are we even having the same conversation?
Man With a Scratchy Voice That's Hard to Hear: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker. Number Four.
And as I'm lost in thought in the Summertime, here are some photos of Ari Westphal.