APPLES

Fiona Apple McAfee Maggart was born on September 13, 1977 and she's only thirty-four years old.  Or to put it another way, Fiona Apple is ten years younger than I am.  What else do I know about her.
Let's see, Fiona Apple's first album was Tidal.  That album was released in 1996.  Her second album was When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows when he Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole thing 'fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your own Hand And Remember that Depth is the Greatest of Heights and if You Ynow Where You Stand, then You Know Where to Land and if You Fall it Won't Matter, Cause You'll Know that You're Right.  Fiona Apple's second album When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows when he Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole thing 'fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your own Hand And Remember that Depth is the Greatest of Heights and if You Ynow Where You Stand, then You Know Where to Land and if You Fall it Won't Matter, Cause You'll Know that You're Right was in the Guinnes Book of World Records as the longest album title ever until it was replaced by Chumbawumba in 2008.  Chumawumba released the album The Boy Bands Have Won, and All the Copyists and the Tribute Bands and the TV Talent Show Producers Have Won, If We Allow Our Culture to Be Shaped by Mimicry, Whether from Lack of Ideas or From Exaggerated Respect. You Should Never Try to Freeze Culture. What You Can Do Is Recycle That Culture. Take Your Older Brother's Hand-Me-Down Jacket and Re-Style It, Re-Fashion It to the Point Where It Becomes Your Own. But Don't Just Regurgitate Creative History, or Hold Art and Music and Literature as Fixed, Untouchable and Kept Under Glass. The People Who Try to 'Guard' Any Particular Form of Music Are, Like the Copyists and Manufactured Bands, Doing It the Worst Disservice, Because the Only Thing That You Can Do to Music That Will Damage It Is Not Change It, Not Make It Your Own. Because Then It Dies, Then It's Over, Then It's Done, and the Boy Bands Have Won.  Anyway, Fiona Apple's second album When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows when he Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole thing 'fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your own Hand And Remember that Depth is the Greatest of Heights and if You Ynow Where You Stand, then You Know Where to Land and if You Fall it Won't Matter, Cause You'll Know that You're Right was released in 1999.  Fiona Apple was missing from the music industry until 2005 when she released Extraordinary Machines.  And now we had to wait until this year before Fiona Apple was able to release her fourth album The Idler Wheel is wiser than the Driver of the Screw, and Whipping Cords will serve you more than Ropes will ever do.  I know that we're all anticipating Fiona Apple's return to the music industry.  Yeah, she doesn't release albums very often.  However, when Fiona Apple Does release an album, it tends to be a really huge event.

I'm certain that Fiona Apple's fourth album The Idler Wheel is wiser than the Driver of the Screw, and Whipping Cords will serve you more than Ropes will ever do will be, as usual, an absolute masterpiece.