IT STARTED OUT AS A GOOD DAY, BUT SHE DIDNT' KNOW WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED

Kirsten Dunst was in a deep sleep.  And it was a really nice dream.  The dream she had at night was so nice that she didn't want to wake up, but she did so.

And so after showering, grooming and eating breakfast, it was time for her to be interviewed on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.  Despite the fact that the show was broadcast late at night at 11:30 at night, actual episodes were filmed in the afternoon.  I guess that's why outdoor scenes related to the Tonight Show always looked as if it took place in broad daylight.  At any rate, Kirsten Dunst had a movie to promote and the Tonight Show was the perfect place to promote upcoming films.  Kirsten Dunst was nervous, but thankfully, Jay Leno was very nice and polite.  The interview was fun, relaxing and more important, Kirsten Dunst enjoyed herself.

Kirsten Dunst chatted with Jay Leno like they were old friends after the interview.  After she was invited to one of his parties planned for later in the week (He claimed it wasn't  to sell Amway, but she knew that Amway was always a huge part of it).  After she left the Tonight Show studio, she was grabbed from behind and shoved into a van.  Kirsten Dunst was strongly restrained as the van drove for what appeared to be for three hours before stopping.  Kirsten Dunst was roughly dragged out of the van and into a warehouse owned by Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith. 

DARTH VADER:  You failed to pay off your gambling debt.  What am I going to do with you.  If you don't pay off your gambling debt within the span of three days, I'm going to kill you, your spouse, your child and I'll take over your apartment and keep it for myself.

KIRSTEN DUNST:  I'm not married nor do I have children.

DARTH VADER:  So much for the family wrecking element.  Oh well, what are we going to do about your gambling debt.

Kirsten Dunst knew her gambling debt problem very well.  She betted on three seperate football games and she had to correctly guess the score either correctly, or be only five points below or five points above.  She got none of the football games scores guessed correctly.  So now she owes more money than she can hope to pay within her lifetime.  However, Darth Vader was getting impatient.  And unregulated gambling bookies gets homicidal when they're impatient.

KIRSTEN DUNST:  Oh come on, I'm sure we can make a special arrangement.

DARTH VADER:  I already made more than enough special arrangements and nothing came of it.

KIRSTEN DUNST:  How about I bet on three more football games.  If I get the football game scores guessed correctly, then the debt is wiped clean.

DARTH VADER:  I already did that and your gambling debt has been doubled.

JEDI KNIGHT:  Leave that girl alone.

Kirsten Dunst and Darth Vader turned around to face a Jedi Knight.

JEDI KNIGHT:  You're the biggest scumbag I've ever met in my life.  You're a creep.  You're a jerk.  You're a waste of human life.  You face looks ugly and the helmet that you're hiding your face under looks even uglier.  In short, I hate your guts and I would like to see you dead.  I'm going to purge this world of your vile wickedness forever.  I shall end your cruelty forever.

DARTH VADER:  In that case, I challenge you to a duel.

KIRSTEN DUNST:  Let's make a gambling debt.  I'll bet against the Jedi Knight.  You bet in favor of the Jedi Knight.  If the Jedi Knight wins, my gambling debt is trippled.  If  the Jedi Knight loses, the gambling debt is wiped clean.

JEDI KNIGHT:  Are you crazy?  I'm here to rescue you. 

DARTH VADER:  You got yourself a gambling wager young lady.

JEDI KNIGHT:  My name is Dirk Trueheart.  I never lost a light saber battle.

DARTH VADER:  I would like to see your light saber fighting skills.  On guard.

KIRSTEN DUNST (Facing the Jedi Knight):  Please be a darling and don't rescue me.  I got a lot of money riding on you failing to save my from myself.

Darth Vader turned on his light saber.  The Jedi Knight tried to turn on his light saber and it failed to turn on.  The Jedi Knight tried to switch on his light saber a few more times without success.

JEDI KNIGHT:  Oh darn, my light saber is broken.  Can we reschedule our battle for another day.

DARTH VADER (Looking at Kirsten Dunst):  You knew this was going to happen.

KIRSTEN DUNST (Looking at Darth Vader):  Yup, you got that right.

Darth Vader chopped the Jedi Knight in half and the Jedi Knight died instantly.

KIRSTEN DUNST:  It looks as if my gambling debt has been wiped clean.  It's nice doing business with you. 

Kirsten Dunst thank GOD that she knew how to rewire light sabers as she calmly exited Darth Vader's warehouse.